How Hetalians Roll
by Kumiko Fukuda
Summary: Juliet, oh Juliet. Wherefore art thou, oh Juliet? Sorry Edward, no Juliet for you this time. Amelia S. Jones, half American, half Spaniard. She comes back to Forks after many years in Phoenix. There in Forks, situations become supernatural and crazy when sparkly vampires and furry werewolves are after her. But she'll never let them have her. Let's show the world how Hetalians roll.
1. Prologue

**How Hetalians Roll**

**Disclaimer: **Neither Twilight nor Hetalia belongs to me. I only combined and made this awful fan work. Oh yeah, the original storyline belongs to Phoenix-Fire Power.

**Warnings: **TWILIGHT BASHING! AR, OCs, 1st person POV, gender bending, human names being used, Human!Nations, bad grammar, bad tenses, etc. Oh yeah, no yaoi pairings, dudes. I know it sucks to be you.

**A/N: **Credits for the story idea to Phoenix-Fire Power. THIS FANFIC, however, will not following the exact storyline for Twilight: APH Style. This FANFIC, also will not have yaoi pairings. I'm trying to make it as realistic as possible. Sorry, hun, I'm not saying that your stories aren't realistic. I have a reasonable excuse of how man and man can do the birthing stuff (PM me to know my explanations and PM me if you have another theory). I'm just... quite fond with Nyotalia (Fem!Italy is really badass, plain badass) so... okay. That's all. Enjoy~.

* * *

**_DON'T LIKE DON'T READ!_**

* * *

**Prologue**

* * *

Ah, _hola_~! Nice to meet you, people... erm... who read this!

Now... what I was going to say, again?

Ah, yes! My name is Amelia S. Jones. The 'S' in my name stands for Santiago, indicating that I must be a Spaniard.

Well, not really~.

My father is an American. His name is Alfred F. Jones. _Padre_ never told me the 'F' in his name stands for. _Madre_ told me that she guessed the 'F' stands for Foster, but... nah, no one knows. My mother is—congratulations, _amigo_! My mother is a Spaniard. Her name is Isabel Fernandez Carriedo. And she's like the best mother, ever!

Now, I live in Amsterdam with my husband—don't worry, you'll know him soon enough—and my adorable two kids! I'm 43 years old, yet everyone still finds me quite... young. Heh, must have got that from _Madre_. She already turns Granny yet still looks like an adult.

Well, _mi amigo_! Are you ready for a story that I'll tell you? Are you ready for a story about some memories of my blurring childhood that involved living with Padre in Forks and live to tell the tale?

This is going to be awkward. I hate that particular memories and always trying to shut it out of my mind. But, oh well~! I promised to Daniel and Rainier to tell it to the world~!

Or so they think...

Ay, so... the story began like this...

* * *

**A/N: **_Twilight: APH Style_, _A Frying Pan to the Head_, and _A Five Pointed Star of Chaos_. Those fanfics are the references to this one. Thank you so much _Phoenix-Fire Power_, _Heaven'sKnight15_, and _GothKat2SlashFan_.

I repeat once again, in here, the countries are not countries. They're humans. But I'll make them become something 'more' than just 'mere human'. Thanks. And please do correct me if I got the languages wrong. Google Translate isn't the only place that I look languages to.

No bashing review, please?


	2. Madre had me another Padre

**How Hetalians Roll**

**Disclaimer: **Neither Twilight nor Hetalia belongs to me. I only combined and made this awful fan work. Oh yeah, the original storyline belongs to Phoenix-Fire Power.

**Warnings: **TWILIGHT BASHING! AR, OCs, 1st person POV, gender bending, human names being used, Human!Nations, bad grammar, bad tenses, etc. Oh yeah, no yaoi pairings, dudes. I know it sucks to be you.

**A/N: **Credits for the story idea to Phoenix-Fire Power. THIS FANFIC, however, will not following the exact storyline for Twilight: APH Style. This FANFIC, also will not have yaoi pairings. I'm trying to make it as realistic as possible. Sorry, hun, I'm not saying that your stories aren't realistic. I have a reasonable excuse of how man and man can do the birthing stuff (PM me to know my explanations and PM me if you have another theory). I'm just... quite fond with Nyotalia (Fem!Italy is really badass, plain badass) so... okay. That's all. Enjoy~.

* * *

**_DON'T LIKE DON'T READ!_**

* * *

**Chapter 1: _Madre_ had me another _Padre_**

* * *

During the early 17th birthday of mine, I remembered _Padre_ gave me few gifts. _Madre _was fussing over me as always, but she's still the best. She gave me a hairpin so that I could copy her hairstyle.

I was trying my new hairpin that day, to found that I only could wear the hairpin on my bangs. _Madre_ was in the kitchen, struggling to make paella. _Dios mio_, I loved her paella~! I could make some Spain dishes by now! I was working hard to master those dishes.

Then, the bell rang.

_DING-DONG!_

_DING-DONG!_

_DING-DONG!_

"Amelia~!" _Madre_ yelled from the kitchen. "Please answer the door, _mi querido_! My hands are full~!" I slipped the hairpin on my bangs and grinned. I yelled cheerfully. "_Si_, _Madre_! On the way!"

"_Gracias_!" I heard her yelled back.

I scurried immediately down on the stairs, nearly stumbled to the antiques. _Madre_'s clumsiness rubbed on me. The bell rang all over again, I shouted. "Coming!" and muttered under my breath. "Geez... no need to hurry..."

I answered the door.

A male, dressed all in black. Wearing black sunglasses and suits like Mafioso. The man took away his sunglasses and glanced at me. I grinned cheerfully and welcomed him in. "Welcome, welcome~. What might you need, _senor_~?"

The man frowned and replied. "Is this Isabel Carriedo's house?"

I laughed and dragged him in. I made him sat on the couches while I sat on the other in front of him. "Trust me, _senor_~. No one else in the district has any other Carriedo."

The man made a face. "Who are you?" he scowled.

I grinned again. "And who are you, _senor_~?"

He narrowed his eyes, and he did it nicely.

I tried again. "What business does a Mafioso need with _Madre_?"

He blinked. "Eh?"

I repeated again, still smiling but now I tilted my head aside. "What business does a Mafioso need with _mi Madre_~?"

He choked. "You're her _figlia_?!"

I shrugged. "Perhaps, _senor_ Vargas." I smiled.

"You know my name." He said, frowning and scowling. I laughed. I pulled the drawers on the table beside me and snatched a bundle of paper. He raised an eyebrow when I turned to Mouth of Sauron mode.

"Lovino Vargas. Current head of Vargas _famiglia_; the infamous mafia family in Italy." I eyed him carefully and returned the paper back. Hey, I researched whoever had contacted my _Madre_. I was a good researcher.

His olive eyes bore into mine. "Who are you?" he finally croaked. I raised an eyebrow and smiled. "I'm—"

"Lovino?" _Madre_ popped her head from the doorframes. Her emerald eyes lit up so suddenly and she rushed to Lovino Vargas's side. "_Dios mio_! I can't believe that you're here, Lovi! Ah, such wonderful things~, ay~? You're lucky I just made paella for lunch!"

I sat there, and how I could not believe that Lovino Vargas stole _Madre'_s gaze for me.

But I was just a simple and nice daughter. I waited for _Madre_ to stop cooing over Lovino Vargas. After she realized I was there, she coughed and she smiled to me. "Amelia, this is _mi _Lovi—I mean...," she chuckled at the death threat in Lovino Vargas's eyes. "Lovino Vargas. And Lovi... meet my beloved daughter...," she cooed at me. I grinned smugly to Lovino Vargas. "This is Amelia S. Jones."

And her words next uttered shocked both of us.

"Ay, Amelia~, Lovi is going to be your new father~. And Lovi, meet your daughter~."

* * *

_Hetalia Axis Powers © Hidekazu Himaruya_

_Twilight Series © Stephanie Meyer_

_Twilight: APH Style © Phoenix-Fire Power_

_How Hetalians Roll © Kumiko Fukuda_

* * *

Both of us widened our eyes, and then we stood up and pointed at each other.

"THERE'S NO WAY I'M GOING TO BE HER FATHER!"

Lovino shrieked. I only stood and pointed him, and looked to _Madre_ with crazed looks and pleading eyes.

_Madre_'s smile looked slightly forced as her gaze bore into ours. She tugged silently at her fine axe on her side. "Ay, both of you didn't need me to repeat myself, _si_~?"

HOLY MOTHER OF TWAH. The room temperature really dropped!

Both of us nodded vigorously and hugged each other.

"Nice to see you, eh... Lovino." I nodded and smiling rather fearfully.

Lovino nodded as well. "Pleasure to see you too, err... Amelia."

The room temperature returned to its normal state. Madre now gazed at us lovingly and chuckled. "Aww~. Both of you really fine with each other, aren't you~?" then she walked out of the room. "I'll prepare the paella, _si_~? Why don't both of you sit again and chat about something?"

When she went off hearing range, I released myself from Lovino and sat, crossing my hands on my chest. "One scratch to _Madre_, and you're chopped." I threatened him, glaring. Then, I sighed. "Honestly, I don't care whatever you do as long as you make her happy. And please... don't involve her in the Mafioso thingy."

Lovino raised an eyebrow at me. "Are you sure you're Isabel's daughter?"

I smiled. "Why yes! Of course I am!" then I furrowed my eyebrows. "You don't trust me?"

Lovino shook his head. "You're a lot different than her."

I tilted my head and nodded. "My uncle's tendencies rubbed more to me." Then I became serious again.

"Lovino, _Madre_ said that she wanted you to be my _Padre_. If she already said that, then whatever she meant must be good. However, if your actions are found disturbing for me..." I trailed. Lovino nodded. "What are your payments for me?"

"Eh?" I rubbed my chin and grinned. "I won't tell you. But I am a woman of my promise. I won't break it no matter what."

Lovino raised an eyebrow. "Not enough to convince me."

"Well~... How about this," I taped my head. "I'll give you a month for proving yourself. If you didn't do it as my standards, well~..." I looked solemnly at the axe that _Madre_ left.

"All you did was threatening me." Lovino snapped. He glared at the cushion beside me, as if wanting to rip it in pieces. "Listen, kid, I love Isabel. I don't know what your _problemo_ is, but I'm going to be the best husband she'll have. Not in bed, _idiota_. But literally, I'm going to help her and doing blahblahblah. Understood?"

"Not enough to convince me." I mouthed and smiled innocently. He groaned.

I sighed, feeling a little bit sorry for him. "_Lo siento_, _senor _Lovino. I was just curious by how did you meet each other. Can you please explain it to me?"

Lovino raised an eyebrow. "That's more like it."

"Eh?" I tilted my head. Lovino chuckled and looked at my eyes. "You've got her mood swings. And really, you got her looks. Except for your hair." He quickly added.

I shrugged. _Madre_'s relatives had told me that for thousand times. Was I really a carbon copy of _Madre_?

I guessed I myself would never know.

"Ah... how I met with your slightly annoying _Madre_, eh...? She had chasing me after the junior school."

"My mother had done what?!"

* * *

I watched Lovino for 1 month.

And sadly, I decided that he passed the test.

He helped _Madre_ even though sometimes he'd utter bad words. But I knew that he loved her and tried. He looked genuine and slightly happy being with _Madre_. And so did _Madre_. She looked a lot younger than usual, not it meant that _Madre_ wasn't young-looking, but... AY!

I packed my clothes and things. Tomorrow, I would live with Pops in Forks. Arizona wasn't bad, it's just... I'd want to give Lovino and _Madre_ some privacy.

What? I was good, ya know.

I also found out a brief history about _Madre_ and him. Apparently, _Madre_ had chasing Lovino when they're still juniors. She also loved Lovino's twins but that's other story. _Madre_ was bad; she formed a gang group named Bad Touch Trio, with _Tio_ Gilbert and _Tio_ Francis. Mm hmm, no wonder _Madre _attracted _Padre_. And apparently, all of _Madre_'s friends I had known before all went to the same school named Hetalia World Academy.

Interesting.

There was a knocking on my room door.

"Amelia~?"

_Madre_.

"Amelia~?" _Madre_ knocked again. I sat on my trunks and tried to push them closed. "One second, Ma!"

"Time's up." She entered the room.

"Er... _hola_, _Madre_~?" I smiled nervously. _Madre_'s gaze lied on my trunks and my empty drawers. Then she panicked. "_Que demonios_?! Has something possessed you, _mi querido_?! What are you doing?!"

Madre's turning to her exorcist mode. I hated when she did that. Scary.

Finally, my trunks clicked shut. I slid myself down to the floor and smiled weakly. "I moved to _Padre_'s. Remember all the school stuffs? I heard that they got that good school in Forks."

"Eeh?" _Madre_ raised her eyebrow worriedly. "Are you sure you're going to be fine there in Forks?"

_Madre_... really. You were too... argh.

"_Madre_, aren't you going to question me why wouldn't I go to Hetalia Academy or where else and again?"

She shrugged and turned. "Lovi's going to miss you so much, _querido_~. But I won't ask those whose business are between themselves~."

When she left, I heard Lovino's going upstairs. His footsteps creaked. Lovino stood between the doorframes, watching me tidying up my room.

"Are you sure about this?" He asked.

I nodded. "You passed the test."

"But I don't mean it that you should move out." He implied, shrugging. I huffed and pulled my bomber jacket to wear it. "No... but I missed _Padre_ a lot. Since _Madre_'s already has you and _Padre_ doesn't have anyone in Forks there to live with him, I'll assist him~. That's the way."

I shut the luggage.

"_Grazie_." He mumbled.

I grinned.

"_De nada_!"

* * *

**A/N: **_Twilight: APH Style_, _A Frying Pan to the Head_, and _A Five Pointed Star of Chaos_. Those fanfics are the references to this one. Thank you so much _Phoenix-Fire Power_, _Heaven'sKnight15_, and _GothKat2SlashFan_.

I repeat once again, in here, the countries are not countries. They're humans. But I'll make them become something 'more' than just 'mere human'. Thanks. And please do correct me if I got the languages wrong. Google Translate isn't the only place that I look languages to.

So, Amelia Santiago Jones. Half American, half Spaniard. Has ADHD and slightly sane mind. The only daughter of Alfred F. Jones and Isabel Fernandez Carriedo. Imagine her as Nyotalia!Spain, but her bangs just like the original Spain. She has star shaped hairpins on her bangs. Her hair is short, and she wears bomber jacket all the time. She inherits America's abnormal strength and Spain's constaquidor attitude when is angered. Almost all of her attitude just like Spain: Free smile for everyone, hospitable, patience, care-free,_ yandere_, etc.

No bashing review, please?


	3. The Real Chapter One

**How Hetalians Roll**

**Disclaimer: **Neither Twilight nor Hetalia belongs to me. I only combined and made this awful fan work. Oh yeah, the original storyline belongs to Phoenix-Fire Power.

**Warnings: **TWILIGHT BASHING! AR, OCs, 1st person POV, gender bending, human names being used, Human!Nations, bad grammar, bad tenses, etc. Oh yeah, no yaoi pairings, dudes. I know it sucks to be you.

**A/N: **Credits for the story idea to Phoenix-Fire Power. THIS FANFIC, however, will not following the exact storyline for Twilight: APH Style. This FANFIC, also will not have yaoi pairings. I'm trying to make it as realistic as possible. Sorry, hun, I'm not saying that your stories aren't realistic. I have a reasonable excuse of how man and man can do the birthing stuff (PM me to know my explanations and PM me if you have another theory). I'm just... quite fond with Nyotalia (Fem!Italy is really badass, plain badass) so... okay. That's all. Enjoy~.

* * *

**_DON'T LIKE DON'T READ!_**

* * *

**Chapter 2: The Real Chapter One**

* * *

_Madre_ kissed my forehead. Her brown hair tied into a bun... again, today. She checked me all around, asking if I was ready or maybe wanted to leave next day.

Nay.

"_Lo siento_ for Lovi." She apologized. "His boss suddenly called him for work. He couldn't take you to the airport today."

"That's fine, Ma!" I grinned and slapped _Madre_ back. She winced. "Ay."

Ah!

"_Dios mio_! _Lo siento_, _Madre_! Are you okay?! Oh... _Dios mio_... _L-lo siento_, _Madre_!" I panicked all over her. I forgot that I inherit _Padre_'s abnormal strength. I could control it since _Padre _often invited me to Forks and taught me how when I was 8. But I always ended up being sent home to Arizona since I always scared of sleeping alone and there was some creatures were looking for me while watching me when I was asleep, and... and...

Okay, that's all.

_Madre_ grinned so suddenly and hugged me tightly. She ruffled my hair. "Caught you, _mi querido_!" She laughed.

"Ay, _Madre_!" I wagged a finger at her. "That's not nice."

"And so do with wagging a finger at their _madre_." She replied softly while grabbed my finger and wrapped it with her hands. She hummed softly while buried her face in my hair. "_Ea la nana_... _ea la nana_... _Duérmete lucerito de la mañana_... _A la nanita nana mi cariño duerme_... _Con los __ojos__ abiertos como las liebres_... _Ea la nana_... _Ea la nana_... _Duérmete lucerito de la mañana..._"

She kissed my hair and straightened my bomber jacket.

That was my possession that _Padre_ gave me.

_"Flight 25 is ready for departure."_

She chuckled and ruffled my hair again. "Be a good girl to Alfred, _si_~? _Madre_ isn't going around protecting you..."

I baffled my eyes out. "_Madre_! I don't need to be protected... _caray_...," I rolled my eyes and grinned. But she laughed and starting to search on her bag. "Ah~! Before _mi querido_ goes without her _Madre_ for an _aventura_, I will give her this~..."

I peered through her shoulders and gaped when she pulled _that_ out.

_DIOS MIO_. _TE AMO, MADRE_! _TE AMO TE AMO TE AMO TE AMO TE AMO TE AMO TE AMO PARA SIEMPRE_—

"My axe, being handed down to each of our family generations." She had her axe, fully, wholly, in her hand. Now it was going to be mine.

How long I had been waiting for this epic moment.

_Gracias_, _Madre_.

"It's yours now." She took my hand and placed the well-hidden axe to my hands. People in the airport were staring, but... I didn't care. I examined the axe carefully, I touched the old carvings at the steel surface and shivered slightly. The axe was very sharp, had two edges and definitely could be used for fighting. I swirled the axe lightly and hid it behind the smooth surface of my bomber jacket.

It now had been my trusted baseball bat's companion.

By the way, how did _Madre_ brought without being caught by the security?

Nay, that's another story.

"_Muchas gracias_, _Madre_." I hugged her tightly. She laughed.

I looked to my watch.

I freaked out.

"_DIOS MIO_ I'M GOING TO MISS MY PLANE _ADIOS MADRE_!" I gave a quick peck to her cheeks, grabbed my trunks and ran like hell.

She watched me leave.

Isabel smacked her forehead while mumbled. "_Estupido_, Isabel. I forgot to tell Amelia that my friends' kids are also enrolling to Forks." Then she brightened. "Oh well~!" She walked out of the airport.

"_Mi amor_ will tell her~."

* * *

_Hetalia Axis Powers © Hidekazu Himaruya_

_Twilight Series © Stephanie Meyer_

_Twilight: APH Style © Phoenix-Fire Power_

_How Hetalians Roll © Kumiko Fukuda_

* * *

The plane was horrible. Not like that, I meant, the passenger who sat beside me was horrible. He kept babbling about what was an awesome thing it was being a German and everything about German.

The boy who sat beside me on the windows row sighed and massaged his temples. "_Mein __Gott_... annoying _dummkopf_ that even doesn't look like a German..."

"_Si_... correct...," I commented. He looked at me, slightly relieved. "Ah... you're normal."

I grinned. "What do you think I am?"

He shrugged, grinned as well. "An ordinary Spaniard who moved to Forks. Then I corrected myself for the ordinary part." He rolled his eyes. "What kind of Spaniard who'd want to move to Forks, the gloomy side of America? Where rain always falls and sunshine never shines?"

I thought for it for a bit. I shrugged as well. "Perhaps a Spaniard who'd enrolling in Forks High for her _Madre_'s pleasure."

He raised an eyebrow, even thought it was hard to seen for its white colour. "Ah... really? Interesting." Then he moved forward. "What do you think about the awesome me?" His white hair was really... white.

I couldn't think of anything else right now.

"A German who left from Arizona, where sun always shines and rain never falls. A Hungarian, too, judged from his accent. Slightly self-loving."

I was surprised that I was able to make that judgement.

He frowned. "Correct. Almost, I'm the awesome Prussian." He taped his chin and looked at me longingly. "Hey, _fraulein_. Have I met you somewhere?"

I raised an eyebrow. He did look familiar. "I don't know. But you reminded me of my _Madre_'s friend, his name was Gilbert Beilschmidt. Eh... you don't happen to know him, don't you?" I asked, rather hopeful that he'd say no.

"Gilbert Beilschmidt?" His red eyes widened and his smile broke to a grin. "Well, well... you just happened to look at his son."

I widened my eyes as well. "You're... Daniel?!"

Daniel grinned, slightly brushing his ponytail. "Yep. This is the awesome Daniel Beilschmidt, son of the slightly awesome Gilbert Beilschmidt and Elizaveta Hedervary~."

I quickly asked him thousands of questions. "You're coming home to Forks? How's Maria? Is she fine? What about the student transfer programme? Did you work hard? How are you? Oh God, did Rainier do something again to the women? Did you bring—"

"Whoa... whoa...," Daniel's ruby eyes glinted with amusement. He held my shoulders and pushed me back, slightly. I blinked and looked down, slightly sheepish while rubbing my neck. "_Lo siento_..."

"Hm? _Nein_! That's fine!" Both of us exchanged grins. "So... Amelia?"

I gasped, smiling cheerfully. "You remember my name~!" I exclaimed happily. Daniel rolled his eyes. "Well, of course the awesome Daniel does. Who can't forget a best friend as awesome as you?" He ruffled my brown hair, and then he tugged at it, frowning. "Your hair hasn't gotten long."

I huffed playfully and smiled. "Of course! Why should I keep them long if they always get in the way~?"

Daniel raised an eyebrow and he grinned. "Awesome, simple yet explaining." He admitted.

I rolled my eyes. And practically clenched my fists when the person beside me touched my shoulders again. "Hey, _senorita_~, I heard you coming from Arizona, ha? Well, you look like from there..."

That _hijo de perra_. He touched my breasts. Again.

Before Daniel could do anything, I already reaching to my back.

That person raised an eyebrow. "Oho~, really pretty body you've got there, missy~. Why don't we—"

And pulled out my trusted baseball bat.

I heard Daniel laughed by how fast that man's face change from tan to white.

"Now... now...," he laughed nervously with my bat was changing direction from his flawless face to his vitality. "You won't hit an old man like me, won't you?"

I smiled. "This bat was made by 100% iron. It should be hard enough to cause several case of blood lost. Now..." I pointed to his face and mumbled incoherently. "Now... should I hit... or should I not...?"

"Good girl... your parents aren't going to be happy if I called them and told them that—"

"I should." The first hit was released.

_Blam!_

"Ooh~!" Daniel laughed. He laughed even harder when the man pleaded to stop.

"Please!"

_BLAM!_

"STOP!"

_WHACK!_

"AARGH!"

_BAM!_

"MAMA HELP ME!"

_WHAM!_

"Ahahahaha~!" Daniel laughed again.

_CRACK!_

"MY BEAUTIFUL NOSE!"

Another crack. Daniel cackled evilly again.

_"_MMMPH! FFFFUUUUUCCCCCKKKKK!"

_WHAM! CRACK! BLAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!_

A moment of silence followed. I turned to Daniel, my bomber jacket covered a bit in blood. I hid again my trusted baseball bat. Daniel leaned in and wiped some blood off my cheeks. He grinned. "That's nice."

I flashed him my best grin. "I know."

"Somebody, get me out of here!" I turned to the other passengers who were panicking and tried to move away. I tilted my head. "Hey, Dan... Why did they want to move?"

Daniel shrugged. "They're not awesome, that's why they moved."

I nodded. "Oh, okay." Then I frowned. "By the way, you haven't answered any of my questions."

* * *

Everyone made a big road for both of us to walk when Daniel and I stepped out of the airplane. He offered his blood-covered arm for me to hold. "Shall we, my awesome lady?"

I giggled and took his hand. "We shall, milord."

Together, we walked to the main airport on the long hallway. And every time I looked at the crowds, they cowered in fear. I shrugged and brushed a bit past my hair. Daniel mumbled something about un-awesome crowds for cowering at them. I chuckled.

Both of us scanned through the crowds, searching those who were familiar to our eyes.

Daniel pointed to one of the crowds and dragged me. "It's them! It's my unawesome family!" He cried out happily. I laughed and slapped his hand. "It's not nice to drag a lady~."

I did not notice him flinched slightly and nodded. "Fine..."

"_Bruder_! _Bruder_! Unawesome _bruder_!" I noticed a small figure that had brown, wavy hair and was waving at our direction. Daniel grinned so big that it could split his face. "I'm coming, you unawesome _schwester_!" He yelled back.

"Daniel! Daniel!" I also noticed... _DIOS MIO_! THAT'S _TIA_ ELIZAVETA! She's so _magnifico_! I think she didn't age even a day!

"Maria!" Daniel ran, leaving me running after him. He engulfed his sister, Maria Julchen Beilschmidt in a tight hug and ruffled her hair. "How are you doing, unawesome _schwester_~?" He asked in a mock question. Maria laughed and punched Daniel. "I'm the most awesome, _dummkopf_!"

Daniel laughed and turned to _Tia_ Elizaveta. His eyes softened and he embraced her. "_Mutti_... I missed you..."

_Tia_ Elizaveta laughed cheerfully and returned Daniel's embrace. "Welcome home, Daniel...," then she looked to me and released her embrace. She looked pointedly at Daniel. "Who is she? Are you impregnating some girl and want me to take care of her?" Her emerald eyes narrowed dangerously.

"What?! _Nein_, _nein_!" He shook his head, then he pointed at me. "She's Amelia! Remember? Amelia S. Jones? _Tante_ Isabel's daughter? _Onkel_ Alfred's? Our police chief?"

I smiled sheepishly. "_Hola_, _Tia_ Elizaveta!"

"Amelia?" She widened her eyes and scratched her neck, looking sheepish. "You've grown to be so beautiful! I can't recognise you!" She chuckled. And then she looked carefully at both of us. "Hmm... both of you had blood on your clothes..."

"A motherfucker Amelia beat up in the plane." Daniel looked pointedly also to me. I smiled. "He had molested me, _Tia_~."

"Hmm... you did great, Amelia~!" _Tia_ Elizaveta smiled.

"Salute, Amelia!" Maria saluted me. I chuckled and saluted her too. "Salute, Maria!" Maria laughed.

I looked closely to her and grinned widely. "You're so beautiful, Maria! I almost can't recognise you! As well as _Tia_ Elz~! Both of you are so pretty~! I'm so jealous~."

_Tia_ Elizaveta slapped my back and chuckled. "Thank you, Amelia!"

Maria smiled and she slapped my back too. "Welcome home to Forks, Amel~!"

I saw it. I saw the yellow birdie on Maria's hair. I pointed at it. "What's that?"

"Oh! Julbird!" She scooped the bird and showed it to me. She grinned. "Her name is Julbird! She's awesome, right? Kesesesesese~!"

"_Toda la razon_!" I nodded. Julbird chirped cheekily and pecked at Maria's hands. She laughed. "She agrees that she's awesome!"

I looked around; someone was missing. I looked to_ Tia_ Elizaveta. "Where's _Tio_ Gilbert?"

_Tia_ chuckled and petted my hair. "Gilbert is still sleeping. He can't be awoken so we left him." She rolled her eyes. I nodded. "Ay, I see..."

"Anyway, where's Alfred?" _Tia_ Elizaveta glanced around. I smiled and glanced for a moment to my watch. I replied. "He's gonna be here around... now."

"AMELIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA~!"

A tractor hit me.

No, just kidding. It was _Padre_.

I gasped, looking for air. "_Padre_! I... CHOKED... RELEASE..."

My _Padre_, Alfred. It had been quite a while when I wasn't around here.

"Ah!" He released me and looked me with his blue eyes. He checked me everywhere and panicked when he saw the blood. "Are you okay? Who's the motherfucker that did this to you? I swear I'll chop his vital regions and mash his skull and—"

I grinned. "I'm fine, _Padre_. It was his blood. I'm not hurt everywhere."

He sighed and smiled. "Good." Then he hugged me in his bear hug. "I missed you, Mel..."

I twitched and smiled carefully. "Ahahahahaha~... _Padre_... I missed you too~."

_Tia_ Elizaveta 'aww'ed by our reunion. Both of us glanced at her. She coughed awkwardly. "Don't mind me. Just go back to your business."

_Padre_ smiled and looked at me again. "Now look at you! Seventeen, right? Did the baseball bat keep you safe? Oh, I'm sure it is~. 'Coz I'm the one who sent it." He looked very proud.

I laughed. We waved to the Beilschmidt family and then walked away. We got to his car and chatted all along the way. _Padre_ boasted about how he worked in Forks. I was sure he worked fine.

By the way, _Padre_ worked as a police chief. He had done great work; no one had ever-committing crime when he worked. Ay, maybe no one did because many were scared of being pummelled to death. Padre could be very scary.

Never forget where I got my abnormal strength.

"And then we just caught the commie! Bam! He went into the jail straight away after I sorta accidentally broke his back." He laughed.

Can you see what I mean?

I laughed. My _Padre_ seemed to have fun with the crime system and messing people around.

"And then there was a case on my first year working as the head chief which involving an Australian killed his pommy-aka-P.O.M.E-aka-Prisoner-of-Mother-England-brother."

My eyes lit up. "Wai~! How the Australian killed his pommy brother~?" I asked gleefully.

_Padre_ chuckled and answered. "He twisted his brother's neck with his boomerang and split his head! In the crime scene, we had to stop puking our guts out. There were head parts all over the place and the brains! THE BRAINS!" My _Padre_ shuddered. "Oh yeah, the guy also disembowelled his brother. Can you even BELIEVE it?! His guts, his testiness, his argh... were all over the place!"

I laughed in glee. And insanity. "So... guts, head parts, disembowelling, head, bloods were all over the place. Ay~! That was awesome! I should have seen it!"

_Padre_ laughed and gave me a high-five. Then he frowned and looked at me. "I invited you to Forks when it happened! Ah, too bad you caught a cold..."

I nodded. I regretted that.

But then I realized that _Padre_ wasn't looking to the street. And we moved to another way. And a car would crash soon upon us.

I slammed the wheel back to our direction. We made our lives safely. _Gracias a Dios_.

I turned to _Padre_ and scolded him. "_Padre_! You could have killed us!"

He shrugged. "I planned that." Then he turned to the street.

I sighed.

"By the way, for the celebration of you coming home, I bought a present for you."

I turned to see him, eyes ready to bulge out. "What-why-when-where-who-how?" I blurted out.

He turned to see me again. His eyes softened and he ruffled my hair, holding the wheel with only one hand. "Consider that as a gift for coming to your dada..."

I smiled. And promptly slammed the wheel again.

"_PADRE_, WATCH OUT!"

* * *

I immediately jumped out of _Padre_'s car, ran and groped my 'present' with pure glee. I cackled evilly while stroking the beautiful body of the jeep. "Mine... it is mine... Oh yes, you're mine, preciousssss~... You're mine..."

_Padre_ laughed. "So, you liked it~?"

I snapped my head to him and hissed. "Liked it?" Then I purred softly to my beautiful jeep. "I loved it... Rrright, preciousssss~?" I stroked it again.

_Padre_ laughed boomed as he carefully scooped me up and carried me into the house. I snuggled to him closely. "_Te amo_, _Padre_. _Te amo te amo te amo te amo te amo te amo te amo te amo te amo te amo te amo te amo te amo para siempre te amo te amo te amo te amo te amo_~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!"

"Yes, yes, my little one. Now, let's go see your new bedroom, 'kay?" he smiled. I nodded and grinned.

When we made it to my new bedroom, I was sure that the last sanity of my mind had been wiped out, clean. I kept saying thank you to him. After boasted for a while, he left on my room to settle in.

After I was done, I checked on the packages at my bed. There was three packages. I opened one; there was a note on it.

_To my awesome best friend, Amelia. _

Alles Gute zum Geburtstag_! I hoped that you received this on the day you came back!  
By the way, I'll also be back at the same time, too!_

_Your awesome best friend,  
Daniel Beilschmidt._

_P.S. Rainier gave me money to buy this awesome present. Consider this as an awesome gift from both of us. Please wear it every time~._

There was another note on the package.

_To my beautiful best friend, Amelia~._

Joyeux anniversaire_! Welcome home to Forks~. Please note that apparently, _mon cher_ Daniel had got loose in his money~. I lent him some to buy this present~. Stay beautiful_—_on the second thought, please grow more beautiful so that I can marry you and make _Pere_ proud. And grow your hair. I cannot braid it._

_With love~,  
Rainier Bonnefoy._

_P.S. We actually bought another so we can wear it together and matching fabulous~. _

I opened their package. In the bottom of the package, there laid a pair of gloves. The skin-gloves kind; gangsters always wore them. I wore it immediately. Now I could hold my axe without afraid of getting hurt.

And another present laid inside the package. I read the note on it.

_To Amelia S. Jones._

_On the second thought, we bought this too. We're afraid that you might get hurt from carrying the baseball bat. It's spiky._

_From Daniel Beilschmidt and Rainier Bonnefoy._

"Aaw... you guys..."

It looked like a skin-vest. Wait a minute. It was the vest that _Padre_ always wore. It was an anti-bullet vest that _Padre_ boasted always strong and could not be broken—except if you burst it into flames.

You two, receive my love; _te amo_.

* * *

"HATCHIU!" Daniel sneezed at the same time as Rainier sneezed. They shrieked when the Slenderman appeared so suddenly and bam! They died.

It was a game, dude. They're playing Slenderman.

"_Mon dieu_... I think I got a heart attack." Rainier sighed and peeked to look at Daniel. Daniel already froze when Slenderman caught them. He poked Daniel. "Daniel~? _Mon cheeeer_~..."

Daniel shook his head and groaned. "I think I caught a brain-freeze. Amelia must have been talking about us. Argh... this is so not awesome..."

Maria peeked at both of them and walked into the room. "So? Did Slendy catch you?"

Both of them turned their heads to face the brunette. "Yes! Happy now?"

Maria shrugged. "I'm just asking, folks. No need to get so grumpy. So unawesome." She eyed them and cackled gleefully. She took a camera from her jacket and took a picture. Then she ran away. "On the second thought, you should! I'm so going to send this awesome picture to _Mutti_ and Kiku~!"

Daniel and Rainier got up. "LET ME SEE THAT!"

* * *

I sneezed. Both of them must be talking about me. And then I wore the vest—it had something to hold both of my axe and baseball bat. I loved them so much.

I looked to the next package. There was also a note on it.

_Dear cousin,_

Feliz anniversario_ and welcome home~!_

_From Fernando Hernandez Carriedo and family._

I grinned so big, it almost split my face off. They bought me a box of tomatoes. I loved them. Love love love love love love love love love love love love love—

I was so going to make gaspacho and paella valenciana tonight, I hoped _Padre_ didn't mind.

I read the note on the next package.

_Hello, my dear niece. _

_I hope that you would like the present I gave you.  
In case if the album stock lessened, I also gave you one._

_Aunt Madeline. _

I ripped off the next package.

"_TE AMO_, _TIA _MADELINE~~~~!"

I could take pictures now.

* * *

_BEEP!_

I groaned.

_BEEP!_

I rolled on my bed.

_BEEP!_

"I hate beepies!"

_BEEP!_

"AARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH HHHHHH!" I grabbed my axe and missed my alarm clock nearly half a centimetre.

Wait a minute, I didn't set an alarm clock.

Ay, _si_. _Padre_ did it, he was annoying.

It stopped beeping, _gracias a Dios_.

Then the nightstand split into two.

Oops, my bad. I used too much force on my swing.

I rolled on my bed, lazily landing on the floor. I scurried down immediately after went bathing. I had cereal as breakfast. I opened the fridge and heated the remaining of gaspacho we ate last night. After it was hot enough, I put it into a thermos so I could take it to school.

And I sneakily 'took' some of _Padre_'s hamburgers.

I was secretly in love with hamburgers. They were very delicious and nice. And I often speaking my problems to hamburgers. Hey, they're very understanding!

Also, I 'took' some of _Padre_'s grenades. Before _Padre_ moved to Forks and became a chief, he was a marine. Wait a minute, how old my _Padre_ was?

I forgot. He was very old, after all.

Wearing my _Madre'_s blouse inside the vest, I slipped the baseball bat and my axe. I covered it with my bomber jacket. I also wore my gloves. Slipping my camera inside my backpack, putting my lunch into the backpack's side pockets, I was ready~!

Okay, I thought I forgot to lock the door.

I hurried back to lock it.

My beautiful jeep was so comfortable. With it, I could destroy and create the world full with tomatoes, La Tomatina, hamburgers, and bullfighting!

First day in school~. I wondered how it would be~.

Let's hope no one would get hurt by my axe, I wanted to make good impressions after all.

Starting my baby's engine, I hummed some of my _Madre_'s war anthem lullaby.

Forks, bring your best shot. The daughter of two ex-veterans was here. Forks was now a war zone territory.

I know, sucked to be you.

* * *

**A/N: **_Twilight: APH Style_, _A Frying Pan to the Head_, and _A Five Pointed Star of Chaos_. Those fanfics are the references to this one. Thank you so much _Phoenix-Fire Power_, _Heaven'sKnight15_, and _GothKat2SlashFan_.

I repeat once again, in here, the countries are not countries. They're humans. But I'll make them become something 'more' than just 'mere human'. Thanks. And please do correct me if I got the languages wrong. Google Translate isn't the only place that I look languages to.

So, the other kids from second generations are as much as hinted above are...

Daniel Beilschmidt:  
The eldest son of Gilbert and Elizaveta, as mentioned above. He is born as twins with her younger twins Maria. Just imagine Nyotalia!Hungary. Now add white color to his hair and red color to his eyes. His weapon of choice usually is a frying pan, just like Hungary. However, he prefers Germany than Hungary. He is a fudanshi, and an otaku as well. His best friends are Amelia and Rainier. He will do everything to protect his family and friends. A strong-willed person, he will not be faltered. Slightly narcissistic. Easily identified as a Beilschmidt from his Iron Cross necklace.

Maria 'Julchen' Beilschmidt:  
The youngest daughter of Gilbert and Elizaveta. Her twins is Daniel. Imagine Nyotalia!Prussia, change her hair to brown and keep her heterochromia eyes as between pink and blue. She is given a bird that is named Julbird. Her weapon of choice is a saber/sword, just like Prussia. Just like Daniel, she prefers Germany than Hungary, is a fujoshi and otaku. She is trained and educated as a soldier in war. Identified as a Beilschmidt from her Iron Cross necklace, military boots, military jacket, etc.

Rainier Bonnefoy:  
The only son of Francis Bonnefoy and Joanne d'Arc. Will be reviewed in other chapter.

Kiku Kirkland:  
The only son of Arthur Kirkland and Honda Sakura. Will be reviewed in other chapter.

Fernando Hernandez Carriedo:  
Amelia's cousin. The only son of Alfonso Rodriguez Carriedo (Portugal) and Bella van Houten (Belgium). Will be reviewed in other chapter.

No bashing review, please?


	4. First Day In Hell

**How Hetalians Roll**

**Disclaimer: **Neither Twilight nor Hetalia belongs to me. I only combined and made this awful fan work. Oh yeah, the original storyline belongs to Phoenix-Fire Power.

**Warnings: **TWILIGHT BASHING! AR, OCs, 1st person POV, gender bending, human names being used, Human!Nations, bad grammar, bad tenses, etc. Oh yeah, no yaoi pairings, dudes. I know it sucks to be you.

**A/N: **Thank you, Heaven'sKnight15 for the support~. *winks* Well, let's say... it's been a month since I updated. Jesus Christ. Forgive me. Well, now enjoy the fanfic goodness~.

BEWARE! THE VAMPIRES ARE THERE!

* * *

**_DON'T LIKE DON'T READ!_**

* * *

**Chapter 3: First Day in Hell**

* * *

My jeep was marvelous. I almost ran over one or two cars in the street, but still... Hey, I didn't have good driving skills.

Laugh and you would pay.

I drove to the parking lot, trying to concentrate. Every time I looked to the right, it's full~. Every time I looked to left, it's full~. If I looked backwards, I would hit another car in front of me~.

Ahahaha~. So much fun~.

Soon, I was making my own space. Oh yes, _Padre_, _gracias_ for equipping this jeep with some machine gun.

I liked Forks! Well, Arizona was better with the constant sunlight. But it was so green here! Like... really greeeeeeen! The greenness in here reminded me of tomato. They just did. If only _Padre_ would let me have my own tomato garden...

I should ask him later.

I opened my baby's door and I popped my head to scan the surroundings.

People were staring at me.

Did I look weird?

I shrugged and hopped from the jeep, accidentally creating a dent to the ground.

Oops.

I kicked the door shut, and it banged loudly.

Oops, again.

I whistled while carrying my backpack to the main office.

Wait a minute; I didn't see Daniel around here! That _molesto_ kraut! He promised me that he would wait in front of the main office!

I glanced both ways to the people who were staring at me. They hadn't stop staring. It was starting to get kind of creeeepppppyyyyy...

I entered the building that said 'here lies the main office'.

There was a woman on the receptionist. I beamed cheerfully and skipped to there. She looked up and smiled. "Welcome, what can I help you?"

I grinned. "_Buenos días_! I'm Amelia S. Jones!"

She stopped smiling. But her smile reappeared in a moment. "A-Amelia! E-er... Chief Jones' daughter?"

I beamed. "_Si_! Can I have my time table please~?"

"Y-yes!" She nodded frantically and starting to search through papers. I raised an eyebrow. Why did she panic? Just chillax... jeez...

"H-here it is!" She shoved the paper into my hands. She smiled and bid me farewell. "I hope y-you have a-a g-good day he-here!"

I waved back and walked out. "_Gracias_!"

As I looked back to front, I bumped to a... a... a person. Then that person turned me back and covered my eyes.

"Guess who~~~~?"

"Eh?" I guessed the voice. "I... don't know?"

"Aw, c'mon!" That person whined. "Okay, I'll give you a hint. Awesome."

"Eeh... _Tio _Gilbert? But how did you get here?"

The hands stopped covering my eyes and I turned.

It was Daniel, pouting in his glory. He groaned as I punched him and pinched him. "Seriously, Mel! You're so oblivious when it comes to this! Geez..."

"Where the hell have you been?" I punched him. "I thought you were waiting at the main office!"

He winced and slowly holding my punches. "Slow down, seriously. I'm going to get hurt if it's like this, Mel. That's gonna be unawesome, since my awesome body is going to be ruined."

I stopped punching him, guiltily hung my head. "_Lo siento_."

He grinned wide and hugged me. "Never going to be forgiven~!"

"You're one big annoying person! _Hijo de puta hijo de puta hijo de puta_!"

He winced.

I stopped punching him and looked around. "By the way, where's Maria?"

He shrugged. "Already in her class. By the way, what schedule did you have?"

We compared our schedules and laughed.

Our only times together were in French, German, Spanish, and Gym.

His ruby eyes glinted mischievously as he grinned. "So, I guess I'll see you in French?"

I punched his arm, not too hard. "_Idiota_. We had the same period."

"So...," he held his arm again to me. "Shall we walk, milady?"

I took his arm and smiled. "We shall, milord."

* * *

_Hetalia Axis Powers © Hidekazu Himaruya_

_Twilight Series © Stephanie Meyer_

_Twilight: APH Style © Phoenix-Fire Power_

_How Hetalians Roll © Kumiko Fukuda_

* * *

The classroom was small. Almost all of kids hung up their coats on a long row of hooks just beside the door. Daniel hung up his military jacket.

I didn't care; my bomber jacket would go everywhere with me.

Many curious eyes looked at us, but only one I knew.

No one could forget the mesmerizing eyes of Rainier Bonnefoy.

Daniel and I gave our slips to _Senor_ Mason, our French teacher. He raised an eyebrow at us, but paled immediately when he saw our names. As if Beilschmidt and Jones were uncommon names in this town.

He signed the slips, threw them at us, and pointed at two empty seats beside and behind Rainier.

Ooh~. Lucky day~!

"_Bonjour_, Amelia~!" Rainier greeted me as I skipped to him cheerily. "_Hola_, Rainier!" I sat on the seat on the back of him.

It meant that I sat on the very corner of the class. Daniel sat just right beside Rainier. Both of them exchanged grins and bro-fisted. Daniel asked while played calmly with his pen. "Hey, want to bring down Slendy again this afternoon?"

Rainier winked at him. "_Oui_. We shall bring him down like the British Armada took out Spanish Armada."

I raised a hand between them. "_Perdon_, there is a Spanish around the area." I set my face to serious mode. Both of them grinned and Rainier replied playfully. "_Oui_~? A Spanish? We thought you were an American~."

"Make that Latin-American, then." I smiled.

Rainier rolled his eyes and the three of us exchanged grins.

After a while~.

"Mr. Bonnefoy, would you be so kind to translate what this means?" _Senor_ Mason called out to Rainier. He pointed to writing at the board.

Rainier smiled and replied without a blink.

"If I am not, may God put me there; and if I am, may God so keep me."

* * *

When the bell rang, Daniel and Rainier already raced with each other to the exit door.

"I'm going to be in the unawesome Trig!"

"Well isn't it nice that we're going to be in the same class, _mon cher_?!"

"The one who gets to Trig first will stand by side when playing Slendy!"

"Deal!"

I was left all alone. I gathered my stuffs and walked out from the class. In the way, a boy confronted me. He had skin problems and black hair.

"So... Amelia Jones, right?"

I smiled and nodded to him. "_Si_! Amelia S. Jones!"

He smiled at me. "Where's your next class?"

I thought for a moment before answered. "Government~. It's in building six!"

He grinned widely. "I'm heading to building four! I can show you the way to building six!" He's so nice! Wait; did he say anything about his name? "My name's Eric, by the way."

Oh, his name was Eric.

Both of us walked out of the classroom while chattering.

"This is very different than Phoenix, eh?" he asked. I replied. "Very. But Forks is very nice! I love the feeling that in Forks, day by day you got closer to nature. Somehow, Forks reminds me of it~."

He frowned a bit. "I heard that in Phoenix, it doesn't rain too much, isn't it?"

I nodded while furrowing my eyes. "Yep. It's very hot there! Phoenix rained only three or four times in a year." I laughed. "That's where I got my tan skin. Although _Madre_ also had the same skin tone like me. So, I guess it ran by genetics." I shrugged.

Eric laughed. We finally got to the place. He shrugged. "So... I guess this is good-bye. I hope I've got more classes with you."

"_Gracias_ for walking me until here!" I waved to him.

* * *

Well, I guessed the rest went pretty much okay. My Trigonometry teacher, _Senor_ Varner was the only teacher who wanted to make me stood in front of the class. I guessed I did it well.

I sat beside a brunette in both Trig and Spanish. Her hair was tied into a very cute ponytail. Her eyes were blue, strong kind of blue. She wore a double-breasted military jacket with skirt. I could see a wild curl on the left side of her head.

"_Ciao_!" She smiled.

I returned her smile and frowned. She looked familiar...

"My name is Chiara Vargas! You must be Amelia?"

Ah!

I grinned. "_Si_! Nice to meet you, Felicia! Do you know a person named Lovino Vargas?"

"_Onkel_ Lovino?" she widened her eyes. "You know him? Wait... Jones... Your mother's name is Isabel?"

"_Si_!" I nodded.

She grinned. "_Ciao_, cousin-in-law~!"

I laughed. "_Hola_, cousin-in-law~!"

"So, did _Onkel_ cause trouble again?" she frowned. I smiled. "No. Lovino didn't cause any trouble with Mafia. At least when he stayed with us. Hey, did he swear a lot in your place?"

Chiara scoffed. "It would be a miracle if _Onkel _passed the day without saying one word of cursing." She explained passionately. "You should have seen him when he's visiting _Vater_ and _Mutti_! He cursed like his mouth never got purified!"

"And is that the worst?" I asked, curious.

"No." She replied grimly. "He rejected _Vater_ and _Mutti_'s engagement, didn't give them any chance. The usual thing between Italians and Germans." Chiara rolled her eyes. "But _Mutti_ is fine with Italians. She's very nice even though a bit stern..."

"What is your _Madre_'s name?" I asked.

"Monika Beilschmidt."

"Hey! That's the same name as Daniel's!" I replied, got up from my seat from being too excited. The fates in this world linked each other—

"Miss Jones, Miss Vargas, perhaps I should separate both of you?" _Señor_ Kyle raised an eyebrow at our direction. I sat back, but Chiara pulled out a shotgun from her pocket. She raised it threateningly in air.

_Señor_ Kyle flinched and didn't say anything more.

Chiara smiled and put the gun back. I grinned at her. "I love your style at doing this."

She grinned back. "Why _grazie_. To bring a gun is one of the rules for being a Beilschmidt. My _Vater_'s name is Feliciano Vargas. In case if you don't know."

I nodded. "Daniel and Maria also bring gun everywhere with them."

Chiaratilted her head slightly. "Daniel? Maria?"

"Um... your cousins? Daniel and Maria are _Tio_ Gilbert's children?" I shrugged. Chiara widened her eyes. "Ooh! So they're my cousins! _Mutti_ rarely takes me to meet _Onkel_ Gilbert. I wonder how they looked like." She frowned.

I laughed. "Daniel looked like _Tia_ Elizaveta when she's young. But his hair is white and his eyes are red. Maria looked just like _Tio_ Gilbert got gender bended. But she's got brown hair and green eyes."

"Hm...," Chiara tried to imagine that and grabbed a white paper. She began drawing. "Do they look like this?" she gave the paper to me.

I looked at her drawings and gaped.

She managed to draw them based on my descriptions despite she never met them!

"This... this...," I held the paper like it was a stolen rosary from Vatican Church. I gave her an approval face. "This is a masterpiece. Your sketch matches them, this looks like black and white photography of them! You... you're...a master!"

She blushed and looked at another way. "_G-grazie_..."

"No problem!" I chirped and looked at the sketch once more. I looked to Chiara while holding the paper carefully. "Can I keep it? I promise will be very careful..."

Chiara smiled and nodded. "_Si_! Why not? You can keep it!"

I slipped the sketch to my map, extra careful. This was antique.

"Oh yeah, I only go outside the town once or twice in a year. How's Phoenix?" Chiara curiously asked. I grinned. "Think of Phoenix as a desert. It only rained three or four times in a year. Sun constantly shines in there. The only surviving trees there are cactus."

"... oh." Chiara raised an eyebrow. She stacked her books on desk.

I peeked silently to the books she was reading before I sat next to her.

Guess what?

It was a manga. A yaoi manga moreover!

"Is that... a rare edition of Sekaiichi Hatsukoi?" I gasped at the cover. Chiara looked flustered but she nodded nevertheless. "Yes... you know about that?"

I nodded excitedly. "I am a _fujoshi_."

Chiara's surprised face was priceless~! I had an incredible time of silently laughing on her face. She went red and whispered carefully to me. "You're not kidding, right?"

I laughed, not loud enough for _Senor_ Kyle to hear. "You can have my words, for I am the hero of this town."

Chiara looked at me dumbstruck. "Um... hero?"

I nodded seriously at her. "_Si_. You see, Felicia, Forks is a very depressing place. It's my job to make the life here more colourful. So, I have to save the people here from dying from the lack of awesomeness in town."

She nodded seriously. But Chiara smiled while tilted her head. "Amelia, I think by just your appearance in this town, everyone will survive."

* * *

When it was the time for lunch, Jessica—the girl who sat in front me in Trig and Spanish, her Spanish was... a little bit ear-bleeding—dragged me to the cafeteria. I waved an apologetic wave to Chiara. She kept dragging me to a table that was filled with her friends. Everyone looked very happy~!

I apologized to Jessica and friends when Daniel suddenly popped out of nowhere with Rainier. Both of them picked on an empty table on the corner of the cafeteria. I walked away immediately and sat right in the middle when they debated which should sit on the middle.

I smiled sweetly at both of them. "I hoped this solved the situation~."

"Amelia~! _Mon cheeer_~!" Rainier hugged me. I was still smiling.

I never said I returned his hug.

"Daniel, can you come closer to here for a second?"

_THWACK! THWACK!_

I smiled cheerfully while watching Daniel and Rainier rubbed their heads. Daniel groaned while sat on the seat at my right. "What was that for, Mel?"

Rainier sat on my left. "_Mon cher_, is that a welcome to your lovely, beautiful friends?"

"Oh?" I'm still smiling. "What kind of friends who leave a friend?"

"Mel, when did we exactly leave you― oh." Daniel went and stopped himself midway when he realized. "Oh. Well... Sorry." He admitted sheepishly while scratching the back of his head. "We kind of forgot you."

"Ah, _Dios_~! Even my friends forgot me!"

"Meeel~! We're sowwie...," Rainier replied while doing the puppy eyes on me.

Not going to work on me~!

"No way." I shook my head and crossed my arms.

"Pweaseeee~~~, Meeeel~...," Daniel also added while doing the kitty eyes on me.

No going to—

... Stop. Seriously, stop doing that puppy and kitty eyes. You know it's not going to work―

Ay~! Stop that, seriously! The only eyes that I couldn't resist were the _uke_ eyes―

Nay! Not the _uke_ eyes! How did they know my weakness- oh yes, I said it aloud.

"Okay, okay... geez, both of you are so immature..." I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. Both of them laughed and gave high-fives to each other.

"Hooray for the awesome me!"

"Onhonhonhon~, no, to the very very awesome me~!"

Daniel's eyes narrowed. "Oh... really~?"

Rainier smiled. "Really, _mon cher_~."

Both of them glared with each other―oh wait, no. They didn't. It looked like that because both of them had those creepy pedo auras around their back. Daniel had a twitch on his smile while furrowing his eyebrows, Rainier's air around him had a creepy onhonhonhonhonhon thingy around him.

"Hahahaha~, you guys are so friendly, _sí_~?" I laughed. "But your aura makes everyone thinks that both of you are in war~! Seriously, this is like Franco-Prussian War all over again! Ahahahahaha~."

But my next words caught them off guard and they went stiff as boards. "It's like both of you are lovers, actually~. Yep. Lovers~. You guys love spending time together without me~. Ahahahaha~~~~."

Rainier glanced to Daniel. He smirked when Daniel froze so suddenly while staring at me.

"M-Mel! I already told you that I'm sorry! Why did you bring that up again?!"

Rainier patted Daniel comically while winking. "Don't deny it, _mon cher_. You're in love~ with me~."

"Aaaw~, both of you are so cute!" I laughed and took some pictures of them. And then, I tapped my fingers on the table. "Hey! Why don't we form our own group? And name it as our awesomeness!"

"Oh yeah!" Daniel pumped his fist up in air after recovering from his mental shock. "That would be totally great! I suggested that we named our gang as...," he chuckled and rubbed his hands together. "TEUTONIC KNIGHTS! HELL YEAH! What about that, eh, Mel~?"

I saw the flag of Teutonic Knights waving at the back of him.

"Hell no! That's not a petit name!" Rainier glared at Daniel. "If we were to pick a name, then the obvious one is Bad Touch Trio!"

Daniel raised his hand. "Isn't that's our fathers' group name?"

"And _Madre_." I corrected, staring at Daniel. Daniel whispered something incoherent.

"As awesome as the name could be, due to copyright problems, I refuse!" Daniel added again, shook his head profusely.

"Then... what about The Allies?" I asked both of them.

"_Nein_."

"No."

"The Axis?"

"I prefer Teutonic Knights."

"Same as _mon cher_ Daniel."

"Ay...," I tapped again the table while giving a small hum.

By the way, did you know that HetaOni's soundtracks are very nice songs? I used to hear it as a lullaby before I had siestas.

"This is getting hard... What about PerDoRap?"

Daniel and Rainier gave me a 'WTF' look. "What is that?"

I shrugged. "What else? It's the union of Pervert, Pedophile, and Rapist."

"Why you even choose that?!" Daniel shouted horrifyingly.

I shrugged again. "Isn't that obvious? Pervert is Daniel, Pedophile is me, Rapist is Rainier."

"No. NONONONONONONONONONO!" Daniel shook his head forcefully while crossing his arms above his chest. "Hey, wait! You admitted that you're a pedo!"

Rainier nodded while crossing his arms.

I dug into my brains to find another name.

I asked again, trying for my luck.

"Bad Friends Trio?"

Rainier gaped, went silent. Daniel looked at me as if he just found a buried Iron Cross from WW2.

"Wait, wait, wait." Rainier smiled, as if not believing what I just saying. "What did you say?"

"What if we name our gang as... Bad Friends Trio?" I repeated again, slightly confused.

Suddenly, both Daniel and Rainier grinned very big and pounced at me.

Daniel laughed. "That's the most awesome name I've ever heard."

"Indeed. Indeed." Rainier chuckled.

I laughed. "So, from now on, we will be known as Bad Friends Trio!"

The three of us laughed and bro/sis-fisted each other.

We stopped laughing when I suddenly asked. "Why is everyone staring at us?"

Daniel looked everywhere and everyone who's on the vision of his gaze turned so suddenly while blushing.

Rainier also looked around while winking and everyone who's on the line vision turned around immediately while shuddering.

I must tell _Padre_ that the air conditioner was very cold.

Daniel replied in straight face. "Because they're not awesome."

Rainier nodded. "Because they don't appreciate beauties like ours."

"Or maybe because you sit beside Rainier and are okay at the fact that he is clinging on you."

"Or maybe because you sit beside Daniel and are okay at the fact that _HE_ is clinging on you."

"Or maybe... because that fucking retarded glossy is staring at your direction." A new voice piped in.

Daniel rolled his eyes and glanced to his side at Maria. "What do you want, _scwester_?"

Maria grinned. "Actually, nothing. Not at all this time. I'm just going to sit here with you guys." She said while cracked up a beer and chugged it down.

"_Hola_, Maria!" I smiled at her. She grinned and lifted her beer. "Hey, Mel! Want some?"

"Maybe~...," I replied. She grinned and cackled when I took one beer from her. I opened the beer and chugged it.

Daniel glared at her. "Seriously, what are you doing? This territory only belongs to the awesome Bad Friends Trio."

Maria rolled her eyes and and started eating her wurst. Then, she replied with mouth full. "Then make it Bad Friends Quartet. It sounds cooler than just Trio."

My eyes lit up as I watched her. "Ooh! Let's being unladylike today!"

Maria nodded and gave me a wurst.

I glanced at the wurst. "Uh... I'll choose my own tomatoes. _Gracias_."

She shrugged and grabbed back the wurst. "Have it your way, then."

I nodded and started nibbling at my precious tomato. But I jolted suddenly when I felt something started crawling under my skin. I touched my neck and looked at right and left.

"What's wrong, Mel?" Rainier asked while eating his lunch.

His lunch was snails. French people called it... as... escargot?

I shrugged and looked at other direction again. "No, nothing. I feel someone is watching me."

Daniel was chomping his wurst with no delicacy at all. "Hmph? Asddfgjklaieuo lpalif owij?"

"Eh?" I tilted my head to side.

Maria sighed and rolled her eyes. "Idiot _bruder_. Chow them down first. I'm feeling like _Mutti_..."

Daniel reached for a beer and drank them like water. He smiled and wiped his mouth. "That's better. And _ja_, you're a small version of _Mutti_. And I heard a fucking retarded glossy is watching her?" he asked Maria with eyebrows raised.

Maria nodded and grabbed for another beer. "Mmm hmm... Table 6, five retards." She cocked her head at a direction behind me and the three of us immediately snapped our heads at the direction.

Oh, so that's table 6. Filled with somehow annoying people that made me reached to my axe...

Those annoying people were all teens. They had reaaaaaaaallllllly pale skin, black eyes, and thin bodies!

They didn't seem to be the kind to eat tomatoes. Too bad, tomatoes were very delicious!

Daniel paled and whispered to me. "Amelia, you're radiating a massive amount of murderous aura. The windows are freezing."

I blinked and looked to the others. They were chattering their teeth and clutching each other in fear.

"Ahahahaha~, _lo siento_!" I apologized sheepishly.

"Th-that's fine!" Maria smiled. Then she added. "By the way, if you don't know who're those motherfuckers are, the one right there is Alice Cullen. _Nein_! Not that one! She's the one who's freaking so more petite and little than _Onkel_ Raivis! I always call her Little One."

Daniel looked at her, unbelieving. "Little One."

Maria nodded. "Yep. Little One."

"Fuck. My _scwester_ is possessed."

"Another bad word uttered and I'll slice you, motherfucker."

"You uttered one."

"Fine."

Rainier tugged at my jacket sleeves and continued Maria's explanation. "The beautiful creature beside Little One is Jasper Hale. He's as you see, looking everyone here like he is in predatory. So I called him Tory."

I scrunched my face. "Aah... that's why he looks so hungry. Almost as if he's looking for something. Looking for a moment to strike. His prey is already here, so he's waiting to strike-"

"_Mein Gott_, Amelia. The windows are freezing again."

"Oh, _lo siento_~."

Daniel nodded.

Maria continued again while rolling her eyes. "Next to Tory is Rosalinda-" Maria spat the name like it was a bad taboo.

"Rosalie, _mon petit_." Rainier corrected while smiling.

"-Cullen. She's a _Goddverdammte_ bitch who thinks she's above all of us." Maria scoffed. "She thinks that everyone here is uglier than her. Wait until you see Amelia, bitch. I called that annoying asshole as Bitch."

"Okay...," I nodded while a trickle of sweat ran across my cheek. I wiped it.

Maria nodded, looking satisfied. "As for that muscular guy beside Bitch, he's Emmett Cullen. We use to call him as Musculari, since he's so muscular and all." Maria rolled her eyes.

Rainier also continued. "And then~, the main entree~. The one beside Musculari is Ed-"

"Ed-fucking-retarded-ward." Maria scoffed.

"-Cullen~." Rainier finished.

I smiled. "Ella is sure a very pretty lady! She's got good skin!"

"Wait, what?" Maria asked. I wasn't sure why.

I beamed to her. "Ella is a very pretty lady! I'm surprised that Rainier doesn't go up and kiss her already."

I think Rainier made what seemed a muffled choke.

Maria was coughing repeatedly and hiding something.

I narrowed my eyes; I didn't like it when someone hid something from me.

Daniel seemed not to know anything but he definitely choked when I said that Ella was pretty. He silently screamed to me. "Ed-fucking-retarded-ward is not a girl! He is a man, nonetheless a queasy chicken!"

"She's a human-chicken breed?!"

"_Nein_! It's not like that!" Daniel replied, frustrated. "It's Edward. Not Ella. And he's not a girl. He's a boy. Pure boy. Not like our _Mutti_."

"But... but...," I looked to 'Ella' who looked at the commotion in our table with embarrassment planted straight in his face. I pointed at 'Ella'. "She looks like one!"

"But she's not!" Maria hissed at me. She looked like she almost laughed. "I mean, he's not!"

Rainier smiled. "Edward, Amelia. Not Ella." He chuckled.

I nodded. "Oh."

I looked to my back to this supposedly Ella. He looked at me again, but he seemed... angry?

I shrugged. Better not wasting tomatoes in the sky.

* * *

Biology was the next!

Daniel, Maria, and Rainier went to other studies while I went to Biology by myself. In Biology, I gave the slip to my teacher. And again, he went really pale and threw the paper back at me. Then he motioned me to sit next to...

My eyes scanned the room and found out I would sit next to Ella.

I hopped across the room and plopped myself next to him. I prepared myself to be the nice girl who actually could make friends and then I looked to him.

I changed my mind.

He gave me a really hostile and furious look. I tilted my head aside. He seemed to hate me. I could see the dark auras were forming behind him.

I smiled.

He twitched so suddenly and grabbed my hands. All of the dark auras were gone. Ella seemed to examine my hands and he clutched them so strong. I yanked my hands from him when he decided to hold it very firmly and inched closer to me.

I chose not to pay attention to him; but when he suddenly had his nose almost touching my neck...

* * *

I hoped that he didn't get hurt too bad~. But he clenched his fist all way in this period. Must because I broke his arms.

Oops.

After the bell rang, Ella hopped off his chair and ran to another class.

I laughed when a boy asked me why Ella did that.

His name was Mike, and he walked me to Gym. Yay~. I was going to be in the same room as Daniel and Rainier again~!

Daniel waved at me and motioned me to go with the same team as him and Rainier. Again, all the boys and girls were staring at us when we laughed and smiled at each other.

But their confused looks changed when I hit the first volleyball. They went shocked. The volleyball rebounded high in air and stuck in the ceilings, oh nay. It went through the roof. Daniel and Rainier gave me a look and I laughed nervously as Coach Clapp eyed me and sent a boy to pick another volleyball.

"You should control your strength. It's dangerous to let everyone else know about them." Rainier mumbled under his breath to me. Beside him, Daniel hit the volleyball, causing an opponent to fall down. I tried to hold my smile and replied. "Can I use it though after what Ella did to me?"

Daniel raised an eyebrow at our conversation and whispered. "What did Ella do to you?"

I forced my smile and launched the ball. It hit someone from opponent team and I felt a little better. I smiled and looked at them. "Ella had touched my hands and he had tried to nuzzle my neck. If that's not enough reason to display my strength before, I don't know what to say~."

"... What~?" Daniel smiled and the dark aura was starting to appear behind him. He hit a ball, which was directed to him straight to someone from opponent team. They screamed as the ball made a hole in the wooden floor.

* * *

They cancelled the Gym today and the students could go home right now.

I went to the office with Daniel and Rainier to return my paper. Midway, Rainier excused himself and went to the bathroom. And Daniel forgot to take his bag.

I was left all alone... again.

I shrugged and popped my head through the door. I widened my eyes when I saw Ella was arguing furiously with the receptionist. He was trying to change his Biology to elsewhere period. I narrowed my eyes and smiled. Then I opened the door loudly.

The wind was sure enough to let him turn his head at my direction and shot me a cute look. Like somewhat furious but not.

I reached to my back and stopped myself midway. He wasn't worth it.

He snapped his head and mumbled. "Never mind, then." He walked fast to the door.

I grabbed his arm and forced him to look at me. I was still smiling. I hissed through my gritted teeth. "If you want to fight, then fight. I'm ready anytime~."

His black eyes became wild.

He's going for it.

Instead, he yanked his arm off my release and stormed to the door. The door banged loudly behind him and I thought everyone shuddered at this response.

Daniel and Rainier walked in while laughing and chattering. They froze up midway when they saw my glare at the door behind them. Daniel tried to break the tension and raised his hand. He cowered when he saw me staring at him but made the man for it and asked. "What's wrong, Mel?"

I laughed. "Nothing~!"

Rainier coughed. "Really? Is it really nothing?"

I nodded. "Yeah!" and then I chirped. "Hey, do you know which one's Ella's car~?"

"I think it's the silver Volvo one―wait what are you going to do?!"

I laughed again. "Nothing~. Nothing at all!"

But I threw my paper back to the receptionist and went through the door.

Silver Volvo, eh~?

* * *

That silver Volvo was now filled with dents all over its body. I swung my baseball bat happily onto the surface. My axe was still kept in the right place.

It just didn't worth it.

A screech almost stopped me from destroying more. But after I glanced back for a while, I turned again. It's Bitch from earlier morning.

"What are you doing, bitch?!" I flinched a bit from her speech but I continued and snorted it off. I had been working on this for three hours and they came just now. I stopped for a moment and I stared at my art; half-satisfied. Every inch of the body was covered in dents. Every mirror was smashed into ashes. Every glass was shredded into tiny pieces.

Thank you, _Padre_, for your strength goodness.

Musculari grabbed me on shoulders and turned me back. He glared to me and grunted. "Apologize."

I blinked innocently. "What for? Your brother or whatsoever had molested me and you expect me to shrug it off and act as if I'm one of his whore? Fuck no~." I smiled.

He's furious. I knew. I did it, I knew.

He seemed to be a good fighter~.

Suddenly, a frying pan whacked him on the face and he stumbled. Bitch screamed when a saber made the way on cutting her cheek.

Ay! Where did the smoke come from?!

Still, smoke rolled in and creating such badass scenery when two people, hid behind the smoke, put their weapons on their shoulders.

"My, my. What do we have here~?" a seemingly sneered person on the right asked mockingly.

"Onhonhonhonhon~. It seems that _mon cher_ Amelia is in trouble~?" a voice replied back.

I laughed as Daniel and Rainier stepped out of the smoke and dusted off their clothes from imaginary dusts. "Meh. Never in trouble. But that sure helps a lot. By the way, that was cool." I smirked. "So, dear lords, shall we establish our first name here, _sí_?"

Daniel smirked back. Rainier chuckled. "We shall, milady~. As the Bad Friends Trio." And then he made a motion to the wrecked silver Volvo. "Now, who shall receive the honour of destroying this despicable thing~?"

I raised my baseball bat in the air. Both of them did the same with me.

"All of us shall~."

* * *

Dude.

That... was totally AWESOME!

We mashed the car amazingly!

THIS WAS THE BEST DAY EVER!

Hey, anyone knew the HetaOni soundtrack when Steve attacked the nations with 'Seize' move?

That soundtrack was now playing behind us when we walked away from the totally wrecked car with winds blowing behind us.

_Sí_~. We were just as amazing as that.

After a long distance, I pulled my sunglasses out of my jacket and put them on. I also pulled one grenade and threw it at the car direction. I ordered to both Daniel and Rainier.

"Put on your sunglasses, boys. We're going to look fabulous."

They put on the sunglasses. Then the explosion began.

I wished someone took our picture. I thought that they were going to look cool. I meant, who didn't when you're putting on your sunglasses and there was an explosion behind you and you acted like you did it―which it's correct―and you held your weapons like the Normans in Asterix and Obelix movie when they just burnt a village?

... awesome.

Looking badass with winds blowing, Bad Friends Trio were just starting their career with the explosion and people were screaming behind them.

* * *

**A/N: **_Twilight: APH Style_, _A Frying Pan to the Head_, and _A Five Pointed Star of Chaos_. Those fanfics are the references to this one. Thank you so much _Phoenix-Fire Power_, _Heaven'sKnight15_, and _GothKat2SlashFan_.

I repeat once again, in here, the countries are not countries. They're humans. But I'll make them become something 'more' than just 'mere human'. Thanks. And please do correct me if I got the languages wrong. Google Translate isn't the only place that I look languages to.

- "If I am not, may God put me there; and if I am, may God so keep me."

That's the famous quote from Jeanne d'Arc when she was going to be questioned about whenever she would go to heaven or to hell. Jeanne gave a neither answer. It was the first answer that occurred like that, actually.

Jeanne d'Arc in here will be named as Jeanne la Puecelle.

So, the other kids from second generations are as much as hinted above are...

Rainier Bonnefoy:  
The only son of Francis Bonnefoy and Jeanne d'Arc. He inherits Francis' behavior but he loves France a bit too much and is willing to fight to death for it. His weapon is a saber. He's as stubborn as his mother, Jeanne. And he's as flirty as Francis. Even though so, Rainier will never be naked while only wearing a rose to cover his... uh... Okay. He always wear tuxedo, by the way.

Chiara Daisy Vargas:  
The only daughter of Feliciano Vargas and Monika Beilschmidt as mentioned above. She's as energetic as Feliciano, inherits his amazing art style, and even drives like him. The only inheritance from her mother are her blue eyes and her shy attitude when she's praised. Chiara loves kids and pizza, but sometimes she prefers pasta over pizza. Oh yeah, Chiara's weapons are guns: Desert Eagle from Lovino and AK-47 from Monika. Also grenades.

No bashing review, please?


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